


The Gospel According to Chuck

by AcierGlace



Series: The Apoco-Sequel: The Revenge [1]
Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Supernatural
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-21
Updated: 2013-04-21
Packaged: 2017-12-09 02:13:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/768791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AcierGlace/pseuds/AcierGlace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Crowley seeks an angel and Chuck maligns the character of one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Gospel According to Chuck

It had been weeks since he'd last seen his angel. Not that this wasn't unusual, mind, just that when the angel you're seeking lives rather protectively over his books, finding them left unattended was cause for worry. Crowley sifted through the mess, muttering to himself about why angels needed cell phones despite their grace possibly exploding the things if prodded.

He found four possible leads in the bookstore. He could dismiss the first two (a flier from a Chinese buffet that wouldn't take a hint and an advert for a local estate sale featuring a rare library book, which was scheduled two weeks ago and no amount of haggling could possibly last that long unless one was in a very special corner of Hell) and was still left with two options. 

The first was a note from the Device woman about a second volume of her book of prophecy. Apparently, having followed the rather complex hide-and-seek game the last page of her first book revealed when dropped in water (apparently her child was just as clumsy as her husband), Device had located a second book lodged in the trunk of a cypress tree and sent a note asking politely if Azriaphale would like to view it. 

The second was an advert for a convention in the States hosting the author of the Supernatural book series (which would apparently be known as The Winchester Gospels and made Crowley rather long for the idea that such formatting had been thought of during the days of The Holy Book, because it would have made everything far more interesting all together, including the fanfiction that would inevitably ship Jesus/Judas because Foe Yay ruled the slash fan archives) for the very first time. 

Crowley took a deep breath and placed the pages down. So far, signs were great that the news hadn't been too dramatized lately, and the End of (Interesting) Days was upon them yet again. It would explain why Downstairs was so excited and mail kept flooding his inbox, obviously filed to the wrong “Crowley.” He doubted Sales was enjoying the mix-up (especially as he was sure a couple of contracts had slipped in somewhere among the requests for time on the rack). 

Right then. So. The Apoco-Sequel: The Revenge was soon to be showing in theaters worldwide and it seemed like Aziraphale, despite a deep-seated love of literature and recently cultivated dislike for their theater counterparts, was already camped for tickets behind the idiot Winchesters and their plucky angel. 

Lovely. 

Never let it be said that Crowley didn't do anything for humanity. If not for his little tempting, they'd all still be stuck aimless and blissed out in that stuffy Garden instead of experiencing the things that made life interesting. He'd Sauntered Down towards a more interesting future (and inadvertently taken humanity with him), but now it seemed like somewhere along the way he'd run across Revelations Blvd (again) and couldn't find the way off. 

He exited the bookstore, locking the door as he went, and climbed into the Bentley. Hopefully, one little trip to the Device home would at least result in some of the most annoying word puzzles he'd encountered since he'd seen the message board of Failed Titles of The Apocalypse That Wasn't. If he couldn't find his angel there, he still had the convention in the States to hunt down. 

-X-

“I hadn't realized angels were quite so...” Chuck trailed away as the angel in question looked up at him, tea halfway to his lips and an inquisitive look in his eyes. 

“Yes, dear? Quite so what?” 

Chuck sighed and wondered if prophets of the Lord could go to Hell for maligning the character of angels.

“Gay.” He finished. The angel blinked, glanced down at himself and then gave Chuck a rather concerned glance.

“Isn't the typical human conception of angels that they are indeed bright and gay?” 

Now this was just awkward. The angel didn't know slang. 

“Yes, I guess but I meant more in the...” He cast back and tried to think of at least one conception of “gay” that an angel might be familiar with. “Maybe Sodom and Gomorrah kind of way.”

“Oh.” The angel frowned and looked down at himself again. “I don't think that qualifies when you are a genderless being. Though I suppose when an angel is in a vessel certain... proclivities may be expressed.”

“So you're saying that you're not gay in the Sodom kind of way?” Because there was no way Chuck was buying that even if it did mean he'd vacation on the same rack as Dean had.

“Just that angels aren't usually concerned with such things. I'm quite aware of what was written in the Gospel. The Gospel is gospel, and no slight to you dear, but humans are so fallible.” The angel placed The Mystery Spot book aside and sipped at his tea. “But the Plan is Ineffable and says nothing about, well, anything, so it can safely be assumed that if something happens in a certain way that seems divergent to the Gospel, it is because humankind is so limited and the Plan so vast that immediate consequences are grasped first, but the overall achievement may ineffably run contrary to that.”

Thus the longest speech Chuck had ever heard about fate, God, and the possibility of crossing them ended as the angel left to refresh his cup of tea. Chuck parsed through what he heard and realized that the angel had never quite answered his question (it had actually sounded more like he was implying that The Holy Book was more like guidelines than rules that God thought ever so fun to cook up, only to laugh as everyone took it literally), but considering what he did know (particularly concerning The Righteous Man and The One Who Gripped Him Tight And Raised Him From Perdition) he'd have to say that yes, it was possible that angels could, in fact, be quite so gay.

**Author's Note:**

> Loosely connected drabbles in mostly chronological order.


End file.
